The Angel

We die everyday. The moment we step out of our houses, we become sensitive to how the world will see us. We mute our colors and hide the mannerisms that could betray us. We try as hard as possible to be inconspicuous in our words and actions. We look for nuances of what makes a man straight and so we stifle our tendencies and inclinations in order to be like them. We call the men bro or dude  or whatever sounds manly in the offices that we work in.

It's been five days since I had last gone to the gym.  There were things that got in the way.  I was supposed to go yesterday, Tuesday, but instead I was out fixing a family friend's computer that has been plagued with an undetected malware.  Another time, I had to pry open a laminating machine because a paper got stuck.  There was always something that kept me from going to the gym.  Time sure has a way of adding up when you don't notice it. Today, I made sure I can go to the gym.  I knew that the day, before it even began, would be stressful enough that I need to have some form of release from things that were bugging me.  I took a swim first; I don't know how long that went, but it felt good being underwater.  Not unlike Percy Jackson who relishes the moment being underwater, able to think and block out the noise of the world above.  I did an hour of cardio after that.  I ran on the treadmill for about thirty minutes and then switch...

It was exhausting being dragged around, having to wear something nice because it's a posh place where there's a view of the Atlantic Ocean and there's nothing under $50 listed on the menu.  It was my Dad's birthday and my uncle's wife's birthday as well.  One of those quirks in the universe where my mom's twin brother married someone who has the same birthday as my Dad.  Two birthday celebrations in one, so it was as extravagant as it can get. Briefly, we watched the Kentucky derby before starting on a four-course meal.  I had wine all throughout because it was my only company.  I was obviously left out in senior conversations except when referenced about how bright my future could be.  A wife, a house, and a dozen kids. Aren't you about the same age as those guys who set up Facebook? My uncle, who I was never in good terms with, asked me in his rather annoying American accent. I guess, I replied, then finished my glass and signaled the waiter for...

I'm not new to blogging.  I've maintained blogs since college.  If I can remember correctly, I've had three blogs in this site.  And then there was a hiatus for a couple of years, towards the end of college until the first few months on my second job.  It was then that a high school friend suggested we make a blog to keep ourselves updated with each other despite not getting together often.  There was no Twitter then; Facebook was still in beta and Friendster was still the hottest networking site.  She suggested a rather obscure blog site so that it won't be block in offices.  (This site was blocked in theirs.) That was my first blog in years.  And so far the most memorable.  I've made a few friends through that blog.  But I closed it down and set it to private.  Because my parents stumbled on it.  Where's the fun in blogging if your parents know your blog, right? So I created another blog on that site.  After a couple...