Not Any Less

Whenever someone would ask me, I used to say I'll never do it, in a low growl that said, how can you even ask me that question? I used to think it was unnecessary, completely symbolic, and it makes a mockery of the real thing. I used to think I never needed it. Until the world, in a way, opened my eyes.

It was last year, I remember. I read a news article about a man denied of seeing his life partner of more than 40 years in his last moments because they're not, in any way, related. Only family and bloodlines were allowed. He who spent all his waking and sleeping moments with the dying was barred because nothing in the law said they were related, not by blood nor by ring.

There were several other stories I've read through the months. Of health benefits not being extended to a partner simply because they weren't married; of partners being denied lodging simply because both of them happened to be males; of the killings in African nations simply because of who they are. Simple, basic things that heterosexuals and heterosexual couples take for granted and assume as their basic rights.

It was heartbreaking, at least for me, reading them. What if those things happened to me? There was more to marriage than romantic notions. The more I read into the countless injustices and biases done, the more that it changed my perspective about gay marriage. For every discrimination or bullying I read, I felt a silent rage within me.

I wish people would learn to appreciate and respect our differences. I hate the bigotry and narrow-mindedness that exist; the mad superiority others have in their heads that they're better than everybody and know better than anybody.

It's still a long way to getting there, of us being treated as equals, not second-class citizens, not filth or a nuisance, not any lesser than a human being. I know it's probably never going to happen in the Philippines in my lifetime. Not the symbolic marriage ceremonies that happen in Bagiuo or done by the Metropolitan church, but the one that the state or the nation recognizes as a legal, binding union with the full benefits and protection that married couples have. Sometimes it makes me wish I were in Amsterdam or some European countries where it is recognized and legal, where it's not a big deal, where it's not considered a threat to family life. But I'm not. It's still an uphill climb.


  1. And I hate how straight people don't even get it. That's it not about wanting attention or being controversial to inspire change. I think about that man who wasn't allowed to see his partner and I feel sad. What if they had kids? Kanino pupunta yun? How sad.

    I know it's not really possible for it to happen in our lifetime but I hope that the current talks about the RH bill inspires some change. Malay mo?

  2. The RH bill is already struggling, pano pa ang same-sex marriage? I don't think it's ever gonna happen in our lifetime (unless you get to be 1000 years old, then maybe in your lifetime. lol)

    I read last week about the gay marriages conducted in Baguio and how the government authorities were considering legal action against the priest and the couples who took part in the ceremonies. They want everyone who took part to be jailed. So I'm thinking, it's never, ever gonna happen in the Philippines. Haha.


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