Sissies

"How mean," a friend once remarked when I said how some people are such sissies.

"But that's how I see it." I argued. "What is a sissy? Isn't it being cowardly? Being weak?"

"Yes, but..."

"So how would you consider someone who requires someone to have a list of material things to own? Oh, my boyfriend must have a car, a condo, rich, blah, blah, blah. Isn't that a sign of weakness? A sign of dependence? A kind of effeminacy, a regression to the dark ages when women were the weaker sex and they need these things as security for their future? Why should these things be on the MUST list for a boyfriend? Is he too weak to earn on his own? Is he not man enough to dream these things as something he could acquire for himself rather than necessitating these things on some dreamboat?"

"Still..."


"If you could afford these things on your own, now or in some possible future, why would you require someone the exact same thing? If you have it, why still wish for it? The way I see it, you only require these things on someone if you don't think you can have these things on your own--you need a crutch. Let's imagine this gay guy to be straight. Would any girl date this guy if he wants her to have a car and a condo first before getting into a relationship? What does that make him in a straight world? Di ba parang ang lampa nya? Ganun lang yun. So just because he's gay, he now has a right to demand these things on someone?"

"Well, maybe he's rich and he's used to a certain way of life."

"If you're rich, then that would be irrelevant. It wouldn't be a criteria for having a boyfriend. If you can live on your own money and he can live on his own, then why must these things matter? Surely, you can afford it in the future anyway. Unless you're not really the one who's rich, but your parents and you're dependent to them for everything. I could understand why you would want a boyfriend to meet these material criteria because you're scared of not living to a certain standard--but see, that's still weakness. You're jumping from one dependent life to another without learning to stand on your own. That for me is a sissy."

"Mean."

"And let me add, I find that very effeminate."

"Why?"

"Effeminate for me is not a physical thing. It's weakness in character. Being gay doesn't mean you have to be a girl about it."