Grateful
It is Thanksgiving in the US today. The day when many turkeys are killed and basted. Although I don't celebrate it even when I lived there, this is a good time to be grateful for where I am in life. Many times in the past couple of months, I remind myself that I am in a comfortable place now, far from the struggles I've had in the last two years. It had been a dizzying, sometimes unconscious, trip to rock bottom. And just when I thought I was finally rising from my grave, I hit a few rough patches again and I spent months without any source of income.
If there's one thing I realized through all this is that this is real life. It's not like the movies where you hit rock bottom once and then it becomes a phoenix-like resurrection for the rest of your days. No, life is a series of ups and downs, some are wild swings from windfalls to downfalls, while others are little dips and rises, quiet heartbreaks and cockeyed successes. You fall a few steps down or roll all the way down or you take a few missteps, fall down, rise, and fall down again, until you've maneuvered your way out, dazed, but nevertheless surviving.
I guess this has been my source of weariness for the past months. The feeling of coming out alive but bleeding. Bloody but unbowed, as one poem would say.
But I am grateful because it feels like another storm had come to pass and all is calm. I am living a good life. Good enough to make me feel like I can breathe again, make plans, and chase dreams. I am reminded by a line from a song by The Sundays: You can turn around and like where you are.
I like where I am. I am grateful and I am savoring this moment. For when another storm comes up, these are the moments I hold on to to anchor me until the sun comes out again.
If there's one thing I realized through all this is that this is real life. It's not like the movies where you hit rock bottom once and then it becomes a phoenix-like resurrection for the rest of your days. No, life is a series of ups and downs, some are wild swings from windfalls to downfalls, while others are little dips and rises, quiet heartbreaks and cockeyed successes. You fall a few steps down or roll all the way down or you take a few missteps, fall down, rise, and fall down again, until you've maneuvered your way out, dazed, but nevertheless surviving.
I guess this has been my source of weariness for the past months. The feeling of coming out alive but bleeding. Bloody but unbowed, as one poem would say.
But I am grateful because it feels like another storm had come to pass and all is calm. I am living a good life. Good enough to make me feel like I can breathe again, make plans, and chase dreams. I am reminded by a line from a song by The Sundays: You can turn around and like where you are.
I like where I am. I am grateful and I am savoring this moment. For when another storm comes up, these are the moments I hold on to to anchor me until the sun comes out again.
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